First, an Introduction!

I'm finally going to blog. Ha! It's quite scary if you ask me.  

I actually thought about blogging towards the end of 2014 as the year was coming to an end.  The idea came while I was going through a pity party. You see, 2014 was supposed to be my year - the year I was going to get married or engaged.  Unfortunately, it didn't happen.  Although, I am not going to lie, even as December 20th,2014 rolled through and the shadow of 2015 appeared, I thought I would certainly get engaged or married.  However, that did not happen.  Instead I broke up with the guy I was/am hopelessly in love with. I cannot accurately describe to you the plethora of emotions I felt but I can tell you they were not bright and shiny. No, sir!

Anyways, because of how I felt, I didn't want to go to church like I usually do on the 31st of December.  These questions were dancing in my head:

What am I going there for? 

How many times would I go there and pray for the same thing? 

Why wasn't my prayer answered this year and the years before that?

To cut a long story short, I did go to church. What can I say, I love the Lord and my faith in God is one of the most important aspects of my life. I sucked it up and went.  I will say that going to church did not make all of the less-than-bright-and-shiny emotions disappear.  It did make me feel a little better but I still had some thoughts about my singleness lingering in my head.

On January 1, 2015 I picked up my journal and read through some of its contents and I realized something - in the last 7 years or so, I have focused so much on getting married that I do not have much to show for those years.  You see, growing up, I never dreamed beyond attaining my graduate degree.  My plan was always go to school, become a professional, and get married.  However, no matter my attempts - dating, settling (smh), praying and praying and then PRAYING - I am still single.  In addition to still being single, I barely recognize myself.  What happened to the girl I used to know who was confident that she could attain anything she put her mind to? What happened to the girl who enjoyed reading, the girl who enjoyed exploring her abilities (both blatant and hidden)? Why don't I travel anymore? What are my passions? What am I doing? These questions plagued my mind and I made the decision to work on me.  I like myself now but I want to like and love myself better.  I want know that I lived my best life - married or unmarried.  I want to rediscover myself.

This blog will essentially be about my journey to rediscovering myself.  Additionally, I will write about some of my experiences as a single person, how I have coped (I'm a 33 year old Nigerian woman  - I definitely need(ed) to adopt some coping mechanisms), and just some random ideas that pop in this mind of mine.  Hopefully, it'll be engaging and I'll have an audience and I pray that I do not abandon it like I have abandoned many, many ideas and projects.  I also hope to learn from those who are similarly situated or any one who can provide some insight on any questions I might have along the way.  I hope you stay with me on this ride. WELCOME!